It's been a rough few weeks. I have never felt so lost in my life. I don't really see a path and I am unsure where to go. It's been a very overwhelming process the past few weeks as I work through my fear. There have been several things that have happened this month that I think help me put things in perspective. Books. I have read 3 books the past few weeks; one about a transgender girl, one about an Italian WW2 veteran, and about multiple universe/realities. Dinner out with the girls (minus 1) that I did my Ironman with. Reunited with my friend Lynzie from PT school. Discussion with college BFF about Triathlon's and career. Got to go on top of Ponce Inlet Lighthouse and see the light and the moon rise. At some point I might elaborate on the items above, but not right now. I really struggled the past few weeks with feeling unhappy, so much so, I was afraid I was slipping into a full blown depression. No, "full ...
I should probably explain the desire to create a new blog title - KC 2.0. In many ways, getting a divorce has made me feel like I am starting my life over. It feels like I moved to a new city away from my family and I know no one. It has truly made me feel isolated in a way that I have never felt before. Even on the most painful and lonely days, I know that this is a second chance to make the life I truly want. Previously, I was completely unaware of the societal pressures affecting my life decisions or the fact achieving certain life milestones in a certain order does not automatically bring you happiness. My order was: college, PT degree, build successful career, get married, buy a house and have kids. It took me 2 years to find a house that I wanted to buy - I thought it would bring so much joy. I thought it would change everything. Now, I often sit reading, thinking, and eating meals alone wondering how I can truly bring happiness...